An open letter to Iogo
Please fire the motherfucker who designed this fucking Iogo Nano bullshit for the love of fucking god. I can’t believe you ever let this bullshit slide like it’s normal; this shit is cruel and unusual. Who the fuck’s idea was it to put the epitome of delicious, thick, rich, creamy goodness into a god damn motherfucking thimble. I could wear these stupid shitty yogurt cups as pinkie-toe warmers, you slow god damn bastards. I know they’re supposed to be for young kids, but I don’t know any 5-year-olds who would be satisfied with a single fucking half spoon-full of the best yogurt they’ll ever taste. There’s a special place in hell for dumb shitty plebeians like you who tease people with just enough yogurt to taste, but not nearly enough to enjoy. Fuck you.
Now that I’ve had to go through three stupid fucking packs of this shit to finally bring my total mouthfuls of yogurt up to 2, I’m still not bloody fucking satisfied. Thank you, you stupid shitty god damn motherfucking shit-eating fuckin’ cocksucking dickpirates for making me waste my fucking money on this shit. You insensitive fucking pricks. I’m done. I’m sticking to greek yogurt. You’ve fucking done it, Iogo. You’ve crossed the fucking line. I’ll see you in court.
I hate you with every fibre of my existence,