Tigglesworth

If you like sarcasm, satire, and opinions, this is the blog for you!

Month: February, 2014

An open letter to Iogo

Dear cunts,

 

Please fire the motherfucker who designed this fucking Iogo Nano bullshit for the love of fucking god.  I can’t believe you ever let this bullshit slide like it’s normal; this shit is cruel and unusual.  Who the fuck’s idea was it to put the epitome of delicious, thick, rich, creamy goodness into a god damn motherfucking thimble.  I could wear these stupid shitty yogurt cups as pinkie-toe warmers, you slow god damn bastards.  I know they’re supposed to be for young kids, but I don’t know any 5-year-olds who would be satisfied with a single fucking half spoon-full of the best yogurt they’ll ever taste.  There’s a special place in hell for dumb shitty plebeians like you who tease people with just enough yogurt to taste, but not nearly enough to enjoy.  Fuck you.

 

Now that I’ve had to go through three stupid fucking packs of this shit to finally bring my total mouthfuls of yogurt up to 2, I’m still not bloody fucking satisfied.  Thank you, you stupid shitty god damn motherfucking shit-eating fuckin’ cocksucking dickpirates for making me waste my fucking money on this shit.  You insensitive fucking pricks.  I’m done.  I’m sticking to greek yogurt.  You’ve fucking done it, Iogo.  You’ve crossed the fucking line.  I’ll see you in court.

 

I hate you with every fibre of my existence,

-Tigglesworth

I’d like to be …

I’d like to be a big ball of meat
that bees can buzz around
and eat when I die, so that I might
be granted one sense of purpose.

Cyber-bullying

Lately, anti cyber-bullying laws have been arising in a lot of different places (including Nova Scotia, where I reside).  I couldn’t even believe it when I first heard that there would be legal consequence for cyber-bullying… and, after hearing a lot of arguments in favour of such laws, I do understand where they’re coming from with it.  Am I in favour of laws controlling how people treat others on the internet?  Absolutely fucking not.  It’s censorship to a great extent, and it’s completely unnecessary.  In case nobody’s noticed, you’d be hard-pressed to find a website that doesn’t offer the possibility to “block” and “report” users who are harassing you.  And actually, they don’t even need to be harassing you, you can just fuckin’ block ’em whenever you feel like it, it’s not particularly difficult.  If somebody’s continually messaging you on Facebook saying hurtful things, the “block” button isn’t exactly a hidden feature.  Bloody fucking use it.

 

It should be the responsibility of the webmaster of any given website to moderate and govern the happenings on their sites.  Or, on websites where users can potentially abuse other users, perhaps they should write a very clearly-worded and difficult to not notice warning stating that other users may have unkind things to say to you, and you should be weary of that if you think it would be a threat to your self-esteem or well-being.  If people want to say unkind things about you, power to them.  They have every right in the world to state their opinion of you; sure, perhaps it’s unnecessary and distasteful, but it’s their choice to make.  If webmasters don’t like abusive content on their site, then they can react to it accordingly – the content (inside of the law; no CP, etc) on their website should be up to them, ultimately, not up to how the government dictates people can interact with each other on social media.  Fuck censorship, and fuck you if you’re too stupid and shitty to find the motherfucking “block” button.  Open your god damn eyes.

 

If you’ve been victimized by a cyber bully, I urge you to simply block them.  You’ll make your life a lot easier.  Don’t believe anything they say about you; they’re just looking for a reaction, it’s not even fuckin’ worth it.  That person doesn’t deserve criminal consequences and a criminal record just because of a stupid thing they said on the internet.  Get the fuck over it.  Somebody thinks you’re a bitch?  That’s no reason to get the Feds involved.  And if you think it is a good reason to get the Feds involved, maybe you’re actually just a fucking bitch.  

Feeling argumentative

I’ve been greatly lacking inspiration lately to write anything, and I just need to be intellectually stimulated.  If anybody has a spare bit of time to exchange a few emails, drop me an email at tigglesworth1@gmail.com stating some point about some social, political, economic, etc. issue and I can almost guarantee you I have an opinion on it; and if my opinion mirrors yours, I’ll just argue for the other side, I don’t give a shit.  Somebody fuckin’ challenge me.  

 

The drugs you d…

The drugs you do were made by people who think in dollar signs,
And that’s not very punk of you, maybe you should change your mind,
Reconsider the whole deal

Damn, it’s been a long fucking weekend (UPDATE)

If I actually have anybody who reads my shit consistently enough to notice, you might have noticed that posts from my have been sparse the past few days; I had a busy fucking weekend.  I was all over the place, getting stoned at a bunch of different friend’s houses and playing video games, and what have you.  This contrasts heavily against my usual “stay the fuck home” plans, so it was different.  So, for once in my boring life I decided to go out somewhere and stay out of home for a while, and I caught a cold.  A fuckin’ nasty one too.  I sure do hate this miserable world we live in.

So, I’m going to try to keep posts coming consistently after today.  I’ve been writing a lot of free-verse poetry lately, and I might try to find another thing I’m good at too so that this doesn’t just turn into a free-verse poetry blog because that’d be silly.  God damn, I’m pretty stoned right now to be honest, so I’m having difficulty focusing on exactly what I should be writing.  Perhaps I’ll write a free-verse poem.

-Tiggles ❤

Perspective is key; life is beauty

Lost,

But is “lost” the word to use

When you have nowhere else to be anyway?

Self,

Your mind is an infinitely large canvas

That only you can see and interpret and appreciate the art of

Earth,

A sandbox for us to play in and enjoy

Overtaken by bigger, meaner kids who take it all too seriously

Life,

A gift that we’re all given for some reason

Without any single clue as to what exactly that reason might be

 Infinity,

Something that we’re all a part of and exist within

And yet something we understand so little about, and can’t even begin to comprehend

Nature’s Grace; and Nature’s Wrath

The wind is roaring, 

   Sustained, crisp and relentless,

      Pushing through, and pushing down all

        That stand in its way

 

But I want to be a tree

   Because out in the wind so strong and furious

      I’ll be comfortable knowing that I was made

        Strong enough to withstand it all

And that kind of differs from where I am right now.

The Annapolis fucking Valley

Welcome to my “home”; inhabited by some of the most undesirable, arrogant, ignorant, prejudice, moronic, mouth-breathing fucking rednecks imaginable, with their tasteless disregard for the well-being of others, and their insufferable, self-righteous self-absorbed notion that they’re entitled to every good thing on this planet without ever having to do a good thing for another human being.  Fuck you and your destructive nature, and your assholery; I could do without you cunts in my life anyway.  This entire beautiful chunk of land that we live on has been ruined, polluted, and disgraced by all the shitty people here; and even if they didn’t fuck it all up, it still wouldn’t be worth being here anyway.  I’d appreciate it greatly if somebody would come along and exterminate all these pests that exist here, and leave only the very few people here who are actually worth the oxygen that they breath.

To anyone reading this: Nova Scotia is an incredibly shitty and undesirable province to be in, no matter where you are.  If you ever find yourself unfortunate enough as to be in NS, at the very least do yourself a favour and steer clear of the Valley.

A message from the government of Canada. (ie, Tigglesworth)

Aurora Borealis

Like Aurora Borealis

You’re shining and vibrant

 

Indescribable with any words that

I know is your beauty

 

Unstoppable by the passage of time

Just like that northern light show

 

Simple, and elegant

Yet complicated and mind-boggling