Justin Bieber arrested for intoxicated drag racing
In case you haven’t yet heard from the numerous Facebook posts, news articles, tweets, etc. that have come up about this, Justin Bieber was arrested Thursday for an alleged DUI drag race in Miami Beach. This (not-necessarily-surprising) development isn’t even the first of many strings of small petty crimes he’s committed recently in what appears to be some sort of meltdown. It has been argued that Bieber may not be responsible for his actions in this case, and may be suffering from a mental condition that only Disney stars are capable of suffering from – the same condition that may be responsible for Miley Cyrus’ recent actions as well. For lack of a better name for this very new mental disorder, psychologists have settled on “TMFM” (or, “Too Much Fucking Money”) until further research is conducted.
Regardless of whether or not it was his own fault, Bieber admitted to smoking marijuana prior to the drag race, popping anti-depressants, and having a “beer or two”. He also, after being pulled over by the police, reportedly dropped a “series of F-bombs” (which, to those of you who are a little slower in the noggin, means he used the word “fuck” a lot), refused to exit his vehicle, and upon finally exiting his vehicle refused to remove his hands from his pockets. If you didn’t think he was a total badass prior to reading this, I certainly hope his rebellious and oh-so-cool actions have changed your opinion on him for the better. And if they have, I sincerely hope you drown in your morning coffee tomorrow.